Are you tired of scrolling through random pages trying to find the best South Park quotes — only to end up more confused than before? Don’t worry, your search ends right here. This article brings you the funniest, most quoted, and most relatable lines from South Park — all in one place.
Whether you want something hilarious, deep, or just plain iconic, these handpicked quotes will make you laugh, think, and maybe even use them as your next slogan or caption.
Most Popular South Park Quotes Everyone Remembers
- Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
- Screw you guys, I’m going home.
- Respect my authoritah!
- I’m not fat, I’m big-boned.
- Whatever, I do what I want.
- Drugs are bad, mmkay.
- Hippies. They’re everywhere.
- You bastards!
- No kitty, this is my pot pie!
- I made you eat your parents.
- Freedom, man. Freedom!
- I’m not just sure, I’m HIV positive.
- Girls are funny, get over it.
- You’re breaking my balls here!
- Don’t lie, Stan. Lying makes you sterile.
- I’m super, thanks for asking!
- We accidentally started a cult.
- As you get older, boobs will matter.
- Don’t do drugs, kids.
- All animals kill.
- Whatever happens, happens.
- You can’t change who you are.
- More people will come if they think we have punch and pie.
- I haven’t taken the time to be secure with myself.
- Oh man, this is so not cool.
- Life’s expensive — anything fun costs at least eight dollars.
- That’s how you get ants.
- I’m going home to play video games.
- This town is going to hell.
- Don’t mess with South Park!
Cartman Quotes That Still Make Fans Laugh
- Respect my authoritah!
- Screw you guys, I’m going home.
- I’m not fat, I’m big-boned.
- Whatever, I do what I want.
- No kitty! Bad kitty!
- You guys are breaking my balls!
- Hippies! Everywhere!
- You black… (awkward pause) friend!
- I made you eat your parents.
- Don’t call me Cartman!
- My mom says I’m special.
- This is bullcrap.
- You can’t tell me what to do!
- I want cheesy poofs!
- That’s how you deal with hippies.
- I’m gonna kick you in the nuts.
- Screw this, I’m out.
- Anything fun costs at least eight dollars.
- I’m on a diet, you bastards.
- I hate homework.
- Don’t touch my stuff.
- You guys, seriously!
- I’m not evil, I’m just misunderstood.
- Freedom, man. Freedom!
- I’m gonna be famous someday.
- You don’t know real pain.
- That’s my pot pie!
- Stop calling me fat!
- I’m better than all of you.
- You’ll see. You’ll all see.
Kenny Quotes Fans Search the Most
- (Muffled sounds) Oh my God, they killed Kenny!
- Mmmph mmph mmph!
- Every day I die, but I still come back.
- My friends never notice I’m gone.
- It’s a tough life being Kenny.
- Death can’t stop me.
- I’ve seen it all.
- I’m poor, but I’m proud.
- I always get the short end of the stick.
- I just want to live one episode.
- Not again!
- Why always me?
- Someone please help!
- I’m freezing!
- You bastards!
- I just wanted a quiet day.
- I died again, didn’t I?
- Nobody listens to Kenny.
- Guess who’s back.
- Can we not die today?
- I don’t even get paid for this.
- This town hates me.
- I’ll be back next week.
- I’m not just a joke.
- Being poor is hard.
- Life’s short — literally.
- One day they’ll remember me.
- It’s always the same ending.
- Why am I even here?
- Thanks, guys… really.
Stan Marsh Quotes That Sound Too Real
- Dude, seriously?
- This is totally messed up.
- I think we’re all screwed.
- Sometimes, growing up sucks.
- I can’t deal with this anymore.
- Life isn’t fair.
- We need to talk about it.
- I hate this town.
- Maybe we should just leave.
- I can’t believe this is happening.
- What is wrong with people?
- Why can’t things be simple?
- I just wanted a normal day.
- It’s always the same with you, Cartman.
- I’m trying to be better.
- Dude, not cool.
- I miss when we were kids.
- Nothing makes sense anymore.
- I’m tired of all this drama.
- Sometimes, I just want peace.
- Growing up means losing your mind.
- You can’t stop change.
- Let’s just go home.
- What are we even doing?
- We should’ve stayed in bed.
- Maybe adults are the real problem.
- Can we not fight for once?
- I just want things to be okay.
Funny South Park Quotes for Social Media
- Screw you guys, I’m going home.
- Respect my authoritah!
- Whatever, I do what I want.
- I’m not fat, I’m big-boned.
- Drugs are bad, mmkay.
- Freedom, man. Freedom!
- I made you eat your parents.
- No kitty, this is my pot pie!
- Hippies. They’re everywhere.
- You bastards!
- I’m super, thanks for asking!
- You’re breaking my balls here!
- This is so not cool.
- Don’t mess with South Park!
- Anything fun costs at least eight dollars.
- I’m not just sure, I’m HIV positive.
- I hate Mondays.
- Dude, seriously?
- Life’s a mess, but it’s funny.
- We accidentally started a cult.
- That’s how we roll in South Park.
- Growing up sucks.
- I hate mornings.
- Not my problem, dude.
- Welcome to South Park.
South Park Quotes About Life Lessons
- You can’t change who you are.
- Don’t lie, even if it’s easier.
- Sometimes, being weird is good.
- Everyone’s got problems.
- Life’s unfair, but funny.
- Freedom means owning your choices.
- Growing up isn’t easy.
- Friends fight, but they care.
- Change happens, deal with it.
- People will always judge you.
- Honesty hurts, but it helps.
- You can’t please everyone.
- Be yourself, even if it’s messy.
- Mistakes make you human.
- Learn to laugh at pain.
- Don’t take life too seriously.
- Happiness is simple.
- Even chaos has lessons.
- Be kind, but stay strong.
- Everyone’s got a little Cartman in them.
- Friends are family you choose.
- Fail, learn, repeat.
- Life’s short — laugh more.
- Never lose your weird.
- Don’t copy others.
- Stay true, stay weird.
- Big lessons hide in small moments.
- South Park said it first.
South Park Quotes You Can Turn Into Slogans
- Do what you want, your way.
- Respect my vibe.
- Freedom isn’t free.
- Stay weird, stay real.
- Big-boned and proud.
- Keep calm and blame Cartman.
- Don’t lie, just try.
- Chill, dude.
- Too cool for rules.
- Keep laughing, it helps.
- Born for chaos.
- Make trouble fun.
- Talk less, laugh more.
- South Park state of mind.
- Whatever works, dude.
- Stay bold, stay funny.
- Life’s weird — own it.
- Don’t take it personal.
- Be the Kenny that survives.
- I’m super, thanks for asking.
- Keep it real, always.
- Laugh loud, live wild.
- Be weird. Be proud.
- Chill like Stan.
- Think like Kyle.
- Joke like Cartman.
- Come back like Kenny.
- Never grow up.
- Welcome to South Park life.
